My Twisted Affection
by xxCharaMysteryxx
Summary: I was alone until IT found me. I was scared until IT comforted me. I only felt others hatred until I felt IT's love. I was torn inside until IT filled that black void. I had been well acquainted with the bitter cold I was left in, until IT showed me the loving warmth. I was forever sad until IT made me smile. I never loved until I met HIM.
1. The Beginning

**Me:** **Hello honorable readers!**

**Amu: -_-" such enthusiasm...**

**Me: Oh hush! Anyway so this is my first fanfic and to start I'll just put up the first chapter see how much the readers like it and then go from there.**

**Amu: So... There will be more than one chapter if they like it?**

**Me: Precisely! Anyway someone do the disclaimer!**

**Miki: xxCharaMysteryxx does not own Shugo Chara in any way, shape, or form.**

**Me: Thank you, now onward with this tale!**

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**Full Summary**

I was alone until IT found me. I was scared until IT comforted me. I only felt others hatred until I felt IT's love. I didn't know what peace was until IT's gentle embrace showed me. I was torn inside until IT filled that black void. I had been generously acquainted with the bitter cold I was left in, until IT showed me the loving warmth. I always received my "deserved treatment" until IT gave me my "needed treatment". I was forever sad until IT made me smile. I never loved until I met _Him_.

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**_Amu's POV_**

_ "Winter again, this one's pretty harsh too," _I thought.

Allow me to introduce myself. I am or was _Hinamori _Amu but I think when the majority of the town you used to call home shuns you from life, you lose pieces of society. Like surnames. I am 18 year old and a third year at Seiyo High School. Before the Hinamori family stopped paying for my tuition I got a Scholarship from the principal, one (of very few) people I consider decent. Since I live alone (sorta) that's a huge weight lifted seeing as though my teachers, classmates (definitely them), landlord, " friends" and "family" all hate me. Jeez it's really cold in in here, I wonder where he is. I hope he's ok... If you are wondering who the heck I'm talking about, it's my 'Savior', or at least that what he is to me. This amazing person is number one of the few people who care about me. I don't know what made this person want to help me; he even swore he wouldn't stop pestering me until I did let him help! Funny part is, I don't even know his name and I feel so safe around him. Y'know I think the story of how we met is even funnier. Wow! It really has been seven years since then.

_FLASHBACK~_

_ December 1, 2006, the night my parent told me to get lost. They told their 11 year old daughter to get out of their house and never come back. The bruise from my "mother's" fist on the small of my back is starting to burn. It'a probably been two hours and I've never been this cold, not even in my parent's poorly insulated attic. A wave of sadness washes over me and tears fall out in bucketfuls. I don't understand! I've never complained I did _everything_ they told me to. I always made sure to stay out of their way, and _never_ made the same mistake twice. Their punishments were enough of a reminder. I had perfect grades, even if they only sent me to school so they wouldn't see me. I always felt like I was doing something wrong around them, the people I love so much. Yet they hate me, my very existence sickens them! Why, what did I do to deserve this?! I can still hear their last hateful shouts at me._

_"You useless piece of shit!" _Dad_._

_" You disgusting creature!" _Mom.

_" You -sob- are the -sob- WORST! -sob- Just go die already!" _Ami.

_"GET OUT!"_ All.

SLAM!

(Behind the door)

_"Why Kami-sama?! Why did you give me that hideous thing for a child?!" Mom._

_ That's when I stopped listening and ran and here I am now. In the park gazebo crying my whole soul out reminiscing those awful words from those awful people I used to call family. For a four year old, Ami sure got her point across _very_ clearly. She wanted me to die! -choke/sob- I can't blame her, this is pathetic, sitting here in front of a puddle of vomit, tears, snot, and self-loathing. My stomach and throat burn, but the tears won't stop! "Why?! Why am I the one with the problem?! Why does my little sister want me to die! Why does my MOM curse my birth?! WHAT DID I DO WRONG?!" I shout to the clear, starry, night sky. Even the weather won't comply with my saddening demeanor! Where is the raging thunderstorm?! Apparently Mother Nature doesn't think I deserve a setting to this awful scene. The rain would at least help me cope with crater in my heart and soul. I collapse on the concrete stone ground and there, patiently awaiting death from hypothermia. During my rant heavens at least granted my with a easy deathbed. Six feet of fresh cold powder. As it starts to snow again and my body goes numb a crunch in the snow shakes me out of me out of my death wish and I prepare for an attack. If I'm going to die, I'm going down as a casualty not murder. I want to die peacefully, yea I voiced my want, well not literally but you get it. I looked around, but couldn't find anything. My vision is getting blurry and those footsteps are getting closer. I get up weakly and try to make a blind dash away from there, but I'm caught by the arm. My instinct to scream died when I was pulled into a, a hug? Well, I know it's a person and probably not some rapist or serial killer seeing as how it's not that much taller than me. By like a head taller I'd say, but I can't tell the gender, his/her's coat is too thick to sense any noticeable signs of femininity. His/her waist is kinda skinny to be a boy's so... "Wha-who are you," I tried to say, however, I am currently smashed against this person's chest. " It's okay... you're to be fine..." The mysterious stranger said. Ok it's not a girl, voice is way to deep._

_FLASHBACK END~_

After that I totally freaked out on him, lol... Then told to piss off and mind his own business. He didn't listen. Despite my protest and rude insult, he stayed, and I think that's why I love him so much. This is my twisted affection.

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**Me: R&R to find out what happens next!**_  
_

**Amu: damn cliffhangers... _**

**Me: Mwahaha!**


	2. Memories and Heartache

**Me: Hi again! I know it took FOREVER to update but I'm moving soon therefore my time here will be choppy, so until I get settled you guys enjoy, gag, like, or hate the rest of the story c: ! ****I would also like to thank all my AMAZING reviewers, you guys are so nice.**

**Dia: She's getting so emotional...**

**Ran/Su/Miki: Yep.**

**Me: Oh shut up! I'm just happy they liked it so far. On paper it was total crap so. uh. yea... Anyway, DISCLAIMER! *clap* *clap***

**Ran: Aiya-chan does not own Shugo Chara, if she did Utau** **would rarely be in it.**

**Me: I don't hate her, I just think in later episodes/manga she kinda overshadoes Amu...**

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**Amu's POV**

*Pant Pant*

God, he left out again, what is he doing?! Sure come back at midnight, scare the hell out of me 'just to check if I was dead or sleep', then leave once I fall asleep again! I mean, who does that?! Sometimes I question my taste in men... *Pant Pant* "Gah~! It's so cold!" I yell at the ceiling in 'my room'. Let me explain, since most realtors in my neighborhood don't favor me that much, I live with _him_. In a one bedroom, one bath apartment. ***BEEEEP* *THUD* **Damn that alarm clock. Now feast your eyes as the homeless bum on the floor gets up and heads to the bathroom! Sadly I can't close the door fast enough, quiet snickers reach my ears and I slam the door shut. Crap! Did he see that, oh my god, I'm so embarrassed! Why, of all the hours of day he decides to came back home now? I could feel the dark blush blossom across my face. I know your like, jeez what's the big idea, you just fell. Well I'll tell you, that giggling jerk that I love so much is the world's biggest tease. No, not like that, I mean if I do ONE thing "wrong" one he **will** comment about it. Take for instance last week I was boiling water for a ramen cup I was making, it was taking a while so to kill time I started chewing the tip of one my chopsticks. Weird, yes I know, but he didn't need to comment: _"Why are you molesting that poor defenseless chopstick" _he said. _sigh_ Oh well_, _it's no use anyway Amu, you're getting teased at least once today. (insert pout)

**TIME SKIP**

After a 10 minute shower, getting dressed, and combing the dead deer on my head humans call hair; I head to school **(a/n: Her hair is knee length k? she didn't cut for seven years so there you go)** or hell, which in my case sounds better. It's now 7:20 as I make the trek to the castle like building of learning. I walk alone so no one knows about Neko-chan. Yes that is what I call him, in thought. My little nickname for him came to me when he brought me home the night my... my "family" kicked me out. We came to the apartment and he took his coat off and threw it on my head. At that moment I swear I've never seen a face that handsome or a more stupid facial expression. It's kinda funny how staring death in the face can change your view on someone...

_FLASHBACK~_

_ I can't believe this is happening to me! I know I wanted someone to care, but for him to get down on his knees and beg me to let him help was just too much. So now here I am walking, VERY close to him, down the snow covered sidewalk. We keep going until we reach that old college dorm that the town voted into turning it to a homeless shelter. As we climb the metal and concrete stairs he says, " Careful, this step melted off." Melted? I looked down and sure enough the metal slab that was once part of the stairs looks it was shot with an alien ray gun! " What happened?..." I asked, voice cracking a little. "I happened." He said with a sinister smirk visible under his hood. Okaay, I'm scared now, I mean who wouldn't be looking at an animalistic grin only visible by glowing perfect white teeth with a sharp edge to them! (insert whimper) He turns his back to me and keeps heading up the stairs and I meekly follow. I continued down the hall I saw him go down and when I get to a door that looked like he just went through it, something snaps behind me. My head whiped around on impulse and I almost scream until a black arm darts out and the hand covers most my face. The terrifying creature whispers in my ear, " You're going the wrong way, it's back here." ... WHAT THE **HELL ! #%# $!? ** It's that dude who wants to help me yet I'm sure he just tried to scare me to death! " W-what i-is w-w-w-wrong with you?!" I whisper/yelled at him. I heard him snicker and I started to cry. " Is this all you wanted to do?! You said you wanted h-help -sob- b-b-but you-sob- AAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" I coudn't do it anymore! I coudn't, he's no different from everyone else! I fell to the floor, cried and shouted livid harsh words a girl my age shouldn't know. " Hey! Hey calm down! I'm sorry okay? I was just trying to make you laugh, I didn't mean to scare you! Hey..." _He_ said frantically trying to get me to be quiet. He didn't have to try that hard though. Suddenly a heart-shattering choke errupted from my system forcing blood to come out with it. It became bone silent after that, I felt like I had just died and came back with a forceful pull. I could feel I was shaking uncontrollably. "Oh my god. I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it! DON'T DIE! you can't," _He_ said. His voice sounded so weak and feeble, but I could barely feel my body. Then the darkness was the last thing I remembered, great I'm here again..._

_ Later in that night or morning, I jolted up only to be pushed back down again. "Chill out, or you'll throw yourself into shock! Relax... jeez so reckless," That voice, it was so familiar. Oh! It's that evil jerk who nearly caused my death! Now I remember, gosh Amu, how did you forget something like that? I thought to myself as I attempt to turn and glare at said perpetrator. I stopped that action when I felt a crunch in the pocket of what appears to be his coat. I pulled at the item that caught my attention until it squeezed its way out. It was a clear mesh bag tht has some leafy plant like substance in it. Oh that just great, so freaking fantastic! He's not just a creepy, sadistic phsycopath I've deemed him of being, he's a damn drug addict! In my fit of rage I had unconciously brought the bag closer to my face and the scent of the "drug" sent my previous thoughts away. 'Is, is this catnip?' I asked my subconcious. I turn to fully face him with a questioning look and I almost peed my pants. My voice and lungs produced a sound I haven't made since I was three. A laugh, well more like I went into full on hysterics! His face contorted into the most stupidest expression I've EVER seen! He looked like a derranged kitty about to go on a tantrum if I didn't give him his treat! Ha, this is a total lol moment. Besides the cat face, some locks of hair, on oppsite sides of the crowne of his head, stood up like nekomimi. This dude literally just went into cat-mode! "Pft-I-huha! Ha, You- haha- look re- rediculous! HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAHAHAHHAAHHHAH-sharp intake -HHAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH," I felt so alive and... Happy. After what felt like hours of laughing my butt off, the anoyed look cat-boy gave me manged to shut me up. "Feel better," He asked in a bitter tone, face reddening slightly. "Yes, much better, y'know, I haven't laughed like that in a very long time, thank you. I want apologize, I kinda overreacted," I confessed. During my fess up I got a nice look at him. One word: Damn. The face I'm looking at looks like it was created to be a god's but was accidently was dropped on Earth. So Hawt... I swear I was drooling. "Like what you see," The devilish angel said to me with a smug smirk on his lips. Oh forget his lips _**(a/n:WHAT?!)**_ look at those eyes, deep pools of mystery and swirling emotions. I was so lost, two neverending caverns, glazed with mischeif, and perfectly framed by long, full, beautiful black lashes. I woudn't have been surprised if my nose was bleeding. "Y-yes," I replied meekly, I felt an overwelming urge to hug this god-like person's skinny yet toned body. Something told me that he's not out to kill me or hurt me, but help as much as humanly possible. I didn't know if it was the desperate cry he yelled before I blacked out or the gentle caring smile he's currently giving me; but something about this complete stranger caring about "worthless Amu" made me feel like I mattered in life again. That's all I ever wanted. Thank You, My Saviour._

_FLASHBACK END~_

As much as I would love to reminisce and daydream about him and my twisted sense of humor. Life rude slap back to reality brought me to the hell zone I'm forced to go to seven days a week, each week. Or if corrode over berfore the end of the school year, which ever happens first. It's not like I'm stupid, homeless geek who hates learning with a passion, I mean I skiped second and sixth grade people. That God-forsaken house of horror harbors the evil devil spawns that brought this ngihtmare to life. For reasons I felt like i once knew are now gone, now it just feels like I'm being abused for the hell of it. All of it, family hating and disowning me, friends leaving, neighbors disgusted looks, and being irnored by society. The fault of one big lie, told by the most deciving, evil, witch on the face of this planet. Hoshina Utau. Now don't the this sepent is alone on this cunniving plot to obivously end me. "Her" little minions (demons) are:

Hotori Tadase- Utau's cousin and total ass (possibly a girl... just saying)

Yamabuki Saaya- Utau's bodyguard and total bitch

Yamabuki Reika - Saaya's lilttle sister, Utau's puppy, anoying

Hotori Keseki- Tadase's cousin, stuck up, spoiled (rotten), Saaya's boyfriend (only 'cause he's richer than Tadase...)

Shuzuki Iru- Utau's alter ego (the devil within!)

Shuzuki Eru- Utau's slave (doesn't deserve to be tortured the way she is), absolute angel

Hinamori Ami- 'Utau's little sister'... No Comment

Yep. That's all five of the terrorist I deal with. Now I may seem like I'm being sarcastic, but trust me things would be **A LOT **different if the dissapeared like I pray and wish they do every day, hour, minute, and second of my life. " Get out of my f******way trash!," A clearly very pissed off voice yells in my direction as I am shoved to the floor. Why, of all my tormentors, Fate picks the one whose words and actions stab me the most. Ami.

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**Me: Again so so so soooo so sorry it took this long to update! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! Anywho I just want to clear up I DON'T HATE UTAU!  I'm only using her in this way for something else. So Utau fans, please don't kill me o. Now from this point forward the longest I'll keep an update on hold is like two weeks, 'cause when I read a good Fanfic and the author doesn't update for years it upsets me so as to not do what I hate, you guys won't have to wait years for an update. :-) Also criticizim on my grammar and writing overall is highly appreciated! Thanks**

**Miki: What a mouthful.-_-"**

**Me: Not really -3- **

**Ran: R&R PEOPLES AND I'LL GIVE THE FIRST TEN REVIEWERS VIRTUAL IKUTO PLUSHIES!**

**Me: Why?O_O" Just why...**


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